How to avoid drama and make friends everywhere you go
Life can be messy, and everyone has had to deal with some sort of conflict in their life. While it's impossible to live in a problem-free world, we can solve most of our challenges through effective communication.
Here are 8 Communication Tips for Fulfilling Relationships and a Happier Life:
1. Prioritize active listening.
When engaging in conversation, focus on listening and make a conscious effort to understand the other person's point of view.
2. Make mental or written notes.
If you catch yourself thinking about what to say next, take note and redirect your attention towards active listening.
3. Remember that an opinion is not the truth.
It's important to recognize that individual opinions are not the truth, and differing opinions are normal.
A difference in opinion doesn’t mean that we need to see the other person as an opposition or an enemy.
Our goal should be to accept difference as a part of life. The are over 8 billion minds on this planet and they all have their own perceptions of reality.
If you find yourself reacting emotionally, do your best to contain your reaction.
I recently had a conversation with someone who told me that my opinion was B.S. This was a great opportunity for me to practice both skills. I set my boundary by telling my friend, a good but rather fiery person, to respect our differences and be polite if he wanted to socialize with me.
Guess what?! It worked. A simple and clear request does wonders!
4. If you're in a position of decision-making, it's important to recognize that you can't always make everyone happy.
Respect others' opinions and perspectives, but ultimately make decisions that align with what you believe is right and beneficial.
If you want others to pitch in, don't ask too many people as this guarantees too many opinions — Too many cooks in the kitchen…
5. Address any conflicts or misunderstandings directly with the person rather than complaining to others.
Use boundary-setting skills and respect the boundaries of others.
Note: Complaining without proposing a solution or asking for help to solve a problem can be considered a form of victimhood. Some people may say that they only want to complain, which is okay on rare occasions, but no one loves to be around people who whine and complain all the time.
If you need to share something negative, propose a solution, or ask for help in finding one.
Also, see challenges as a way of training yourself to be more resilient, similar to cold water dipping after the sauna. Expanding our limits of tolerance will make us stronger, happier, and more desirable co-workers and friends.
6. Beware of trauma.
Sometimes going through trauma may result in “not feeling” or blocking out emotions. For many people, this is a natural protective response. Unfortunately, it can be harmful to our health and well-being because suppressed emotions seriously affect the physical body.
7. Avoid telling people how they should feel or what they should do.
As a person in the public eye, from time to time, I get the odd “not so nice” email. One of these emails ended with, “I don’t want you to reply to this e-mail.”
My reply was: “I will decide if I reply or not, it is my choice. Your choice is whether or not you read it, or block me, but with all due respect, I will decide whether or not I reply to you.”
As effective communicators, we must respect the boundaries of others and be clear about our own.
8. Lastly, if there is a history of conflict among a group, or your family members, talk to them before an event/gathering takes place.
Let everyone invited know who is attending and propose that you would like them to come as long as they don't plan to discuss contentious issues, cause conflict, or act miserable.
Suggest that if they don't feel comfortable or ready to attend, it's okay to not go.
I hope you find this helpful, and wish you all peaceful and pleasant communication!