Today I want to share something that isn't about health directly. It's about well-being, which in the end is deeply connected to health. And it has been on my mind for months.
Life on both sides of freedom
I grew up behind the Iron Curtain in what was then Czechoslovakia. In the early '90s, I moved to Canada. Today I live between the two countries, and I get to watch both of them change.
When I arrived in Canada, life felt easy. People were relaxed. You could walk your dog on the beach or take him on a provincial trail. Not many people were afraid of dogs.
Then, slowly, the signs went up. No dogs on the beach. No dogs on this trail. And something else changed too. People started telling each other what to do and how to follow the rules, while breaking them when it suited them.
A walk with Pax, and a lesson in rules
I remember hiking in the wilderness with a group of friends. My dog Pax was off leash, exploring. He wasn't bothering anyone, and he was safe. I wanted him to experience freedom. I also can't run as far or as fast as he needs, so off-leash time is how he gets his exercise.
Then another hiker told me to put him on the leash. To my surprise, the people I was hiking with took the stranger's side. I was upset.
That evening, we got to the cabin. A sign on the wall said no smoking, including pot. A few of the same friends who had lectured me about Pax lit up a joint right there inside. Only hours earlier, the rules had mattered so much to them. Now that it was convenient, they didn't seem to matter at all.
To be fair, we all break rules sometimes, especially the ones that don't make sense. Do you wait at a red light when there isn't a car in sight? A wise woman once told me that red lights are there to follow when they protect us, and to ignore when they don't make sense.
When comfort changes how we treat each other
I've always felt fortunate to have lived on both sides: under a totalitarian regime before 1989, and then in the so-called free world.
Back home, the Velvet Revolution of 1989 opened the gates. Friends told me the '90s were the Wild West. Later things settled, but the freedom stayed. As long as you didn't hurt anyone, nobody bothered you. That freedom, and how dog-friendly the Czech Republic is, is a big part of why I love coming back.
But in the last year or two, I've seen the same thing starting there. Life is comfortable now. Jobs are plentiful. And the rules and the finger-wagging are creeping in.
I see it when I travel, too. In Austria and Switzerland, drive just a few kilometres over the limit and a ticket is almost certain.
So I've been asking myself why.
Does happiness move in seasons?
Every year, researchers rank the world's countries by happiness. What struck me this year was the movement. Many countries that once had very little are climbing. Some of the wealthiest are slipping.
It made me think that happiness moves in seasons. Hardship brings people closer. Comfort slowly makes us restless. And when there are no real problems, we start finding new ones.
Science has a name for this. Researchers at Harvard showed people a series of faces and asked them to spot the threatening ones. As threatening faces became rare, people started seeing ordinary faces as threatening. The same thing happened when they judged research proposals. As truly unethical ones disappeared, harmless ones started to look wrong. When real problems become rare, we don't relax. Our minds simply lower the bar for what counts as a problem.
I don't think we can stop the societal cycle. But I believe we can make the good period last longer by how we treat each other.
What Pax knows about happiness
And I have a teacher for this: Pax.
Pax has been on thousands of walks with me. He still greets every single one like it's the best day of his life. He doesn't take the trail for granted. He doesn't care who is on the wrong side of the path. He sniffs, he wags, he says hello to everyone.
Dogs don't get bored of abundance. Maybe we can learn from them.
So here is my invitation. The next time you see someone doing something they "shouldn't," ask yourself one question. Is it harming me? If not, let it go. Say hi instead. Smile at their dog.
Our dogs don't thrive when they're bossed around every minute. They need a safe, reasonable amount of freedom. I think we do too.
