Today is my 62nd birthday!
I used to hide my age, and ignore my birthdays but as time progresses and I seem to be holding together much better than projected, I am much more open sharing what I do, including what supplements I take, and what else I do for my physical, emotional and mental health.
I imagine Pax and my partner have something special planned for me — perhaps a hike in my favourite places and for sure a swim!!!
But before we take off… I’d like to share a gift with you.
Something I sense can make a huge difference in your life.
It’s helped me to navigate difficult conversations and “differences in opinion” with surprisingly positive outcomes since I discovered this method.
How a Holiday Disagreement Turned Into Emotional Health Work
Last holiday season, my partner Dean and I had an agreement not to complain about each other to our guests. (I am sure it has never happened in your household, right?!)
That agreement wasn’t kept.
I won’t say which one of us broke it. But I will say that it was not a Christmas moment to celebrate.
If you’ve been living with someone for many years — a partner, a sibling, or even a dear friend — doesn’t it sometimes feel like the same disagreement keeps resurfacing?
This time, instead of letting it fade and resurface again later, I asked my partner if we could try something a little unusual.
We recorded our disagreement on the Voice Memo app. Then copied and pasted the transcription and fed it into Perplexity using the Grok model (you can also use ChatGPT).
Our goal wasn’t to “win” or prove a point.
We simply wanted a neutral mirror — a fresh perspective that might help us see something we were missing.
Before I go any further, I want to be clear:
I am not a therapist, do not intend to be, and the following is for information and educational purposes only and is not intended to replace work with a therapist or counsellor.
Normally, the AI has the tendency make the user feel good. This is why, I made sure it didn’t know, who was who and portrayed as a person A and B.
Still the assessment was somewhat siding me, which I didn’t want. I asked the AI if it was unbiased, it confirmed and gave me a whole list of reasons.
But from my perspective, that was not what I was looking for. I wanted both of us to feel good.
Discovering Carl Rogers and a More Balanced Conflict Resolution
The next day, I was driving and listening to the Tim Ferriss podcast when he mentioned the psychologist Carl Rogers.
Carl Rogers was known for an approach to communication and therapy that focused on deep listening, empathy, and understanding — without judgment and without taking sides.
His belief was simple but powerful: people move toward healing when they truly feel heard and understood.
That immediately caught my attention.
I went back to the transcript of our recording and asked Perplexity to assess it through Carl Rogers’ approach to communication and conflict resolution.
This time, the output was amazing!
It was more balanced. Less about who was “right”, and more about what each of us was experiencing internally.
It even described each of our perspectives in terms of different levels of personal awareness, helping explain why we reacted the way we did — without blame.
Most importantly, it gave us something practical to work with.
And wouldn’t you know it? We had an opportunity to put this new approach into practice a couple of days later.
How Emotional Health Affects Our Dogs Too
In a perfect world, we’d never argue or fight with our partner, family, or friends.
But in the real world, conflict is sometimes inevitable.
Unresolved or repeated conflict is bad for us and also for our dogs – they deeply sense and absorb our emotional health and stress levels.
So I want to share four prompts you can use with Perplexity, ChatGPT or another AI tool that can help you resolve conflict with someone you care about in a calm, non-judgmental way.
Before sharing these prompts, let me give you a real world example of how they work.
Recently, my partner Dean and I were at the beach with Pax.
Dean was doing yoga. I went for my thirty minute swim.
While I was in the water, Pax did what dogs do. He pooped. Dean didn’t notice (our fellow beachgoers weren’t too happy about that!).
A little later, Pax found something in the sand and ate it before anyone could stop him. To this day, we’re not entirely sure what it was — which, as any dog lover knows, is never a comforting mystery.
When I came back from my swim and realized what had happened, I felt upset.
I thought we had an unspoken understanding about watching Pax carefully at the beach. Dean felt upset too, but for a different reason.
He felt criticized and blamed for something he didn’t intentionally ignore.
We talked about it in the car on the way home. And instead of letting it turn into another lingering irritation, we decided to try a different approach.
We recorded the conversation. We transcribed it. And we asked the AI to assess it through the lens of Carl Rogers — a psychologist renowned for promoting empathy and deep listening.
What came back wasn’t judgment. It didn’t tell either of us we were “wrong.” Instead, it reflected something surprisingly helpful:
I was reacting from concern and responsibility — wanting Pax to be safe and healthy.
Dean was reacting from feeling momentarily overwhelmed and unaware — not careless, just distracted.
Once that was clear, the solution became obvious. We didn’t need to argue about intentions. That’s the kind of argument that tends to make people feel judged and defensive.
We needed a simple agreement. So we made one.
When we’re at the beach with Pax:
- One of us is always actively watching him
- Phones stay away
- We watch for bathroom breaks
- We prevent scavenging
- And we clean up immediately so we don’t ruin the experience for others
What struck me most wasn’t that the situation was resolved, but how it was resolved.
The tension disappeared not because someone “won,” but because we both felt understood.
And when the humans are calmer and more connected, our dogs feel it too.
Pax certainly did.
A Simple Practice You Can Try
If you’re reading this and thinking, “That sounds helpful… but also a little intimidating,” I understand.
The good news is this doesn’t require special skills, technical knowledge, or hours of effort.
It’s simple. And you can try it the very next time when any disagreement shows up. It doesn’t need to be about dog care — it can be about any aspect of emotional health or relationship stress.
How to Use AI to Reflect on Conflict
Here’s How to Try This Yourself
First, start recording any kind of conversation — about a small or even deeper topic.
Record only if all involved parties agree. I use Voice Memos app on my iPhone, but any app that transcribes a voice recording is good.
Once the conversation is over, transcribe it. Then, copy and paste the transcript into Perplexity, ChatGPT, or another similar AI tool with these four prompts:
Prompt #1: Initial Assessment (Core)
“Please assess this conversation between Person A and Person B using Carl Rogers' person-centered therapy principles. Focus on: 1) What each person's real self seems to be expressing beneath their words, 2) Where incongruence (inner feelings vs. expressed words) appears for each person, 3) The core emotional needs each person has that aren't being met, and 4) Whether empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard are present in this exchange. Then provide practical advice grounded in both Rogers' approach and mainstream conflict resolution methods.”
[insert the transcript of your conversation here]
Prompt #2: Understanding Behavior Patterns (Optional Deep Dive)
“Assuming both Person A and Person B are well-intentioned, please explain: 1) Why each person might be acting the way they do based on Carl Rogers' concept of 'conditions of worth' (beliefs about being acceptable/lovable), 2) What childhood or relational patterns might have shaped these defensive behaviors, and 3) What each person's 'actualizing tendency' (natural growth direction) might look like if they felt safer in this relationship.”
Prompt #3: Rogers' Developmental Assessment (Optional)
“Using Carl Rogers' 7 Stages of Process, please identify which stage each person (A and B) appears to be operating from in this conversation. Explain what behaviors indicate their stage (e.g., rigidity, emotional expression, self-ownership, openness to change) and what conditions would help each person move toward greater congruence and authentic communication.”
Prompt #4: Practical Next Steps (Action-Oriented)
“Based on this conversation, what are the most realistic next steps for Person A and Person B? Please provide: 1) One thing each person could say or do differently that honors their authentic self while meeting the other's core need (Rogers-style congruence), 2) One practical communication agreement or boundary they could try (mainstream therapy approach), and 3) Your assessment of whether their core differences are workable with awareness and effort, or signal a deeper incompatibility.”
This process is a way to gain clarity, prevent escalation, and gain a fresh perspective on recurring conflict — without blame, without judgment, and without anyone needing to “win.”
The intention matters.
If you approach others with curiosity, kindness, and a shared desire to understand each other better.
I have decided to share my story, and this method, mainly because I have found it more useful than taking a course, reading self-help books or paying for expensive therapy sessions at times of rising costs.
It breaks my heart to see relationships falling apart unnecessarily, and good people making their lives more difficult because they don’t teach relationship and communication skills at school.
It is hard.
I hope this information will help you open the door to conversations that feel calmer, safer, and relationships that are lasting and stronger.
That’s a win-win-win for everyone, including our beloved dogs.
